If some of these one-liners don’t make you laugh even a bit, then we’re sorry, we think you may have a malfunction. Here’s a list of 21 of the funniest movie lines ever uttered on the big screen.
“Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ***, in two weeks, you’d have a diamond.” – Ferris Bueller
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is such a classic 80s film, and the entire movie is packed with hilarious one-liners like this.
“If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” – Ace Ventura
Not many movies are funnier than Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, and Jim Carrey has us all in stitches throughout the film.
“Damn you people, go back to your shanties!” – Shooter McGavin
“Damn you people, go back to your shanties!”
I’m not sure what’s funnier: this one-liner from Christopher McDonald in Happy Gilmore or his character’s name, Shooter McGavin.
“They were last seen driving a 1984 sheepdog.” – Dales Man
One of the funniest lines in Dumb and Dumber. When police officers try to describe the suspects (Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels), this is all they have to go on.
“Bye, Felicia” – Craig Jones
This one-liner from the movie Friday is so notoriously funny that it has even made it into the dictionary. It’s defined as “a way to dismiss someone.” It’s a pretty hilarious way to dismiss someone if you ask me.
“It’s not a man purse. It’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.” – Alan Garner
The Hangover kept us all laughing back in 2009, and with epic one-liners like this, it’s no wonder.
“Yes, it’s true. This man has no *****.” – Bill Murray
Bill Murray delivers this hysterically funny one-liner in Ghostbusters with such dry wit it’s impossible not to laugh.
“Oh, it’s a big, pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels, and it looks like a big Tylenol.” – John O’Leary as Reporter #2
Comparing a plane to “a big a big Tylenol” is too funny, which came courtesy of the film Airplane!.
“Get to the chopper.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s famous one-liner, delivered while trying to escape a man-eating alien in the jungle, has immortalized him. Although he tried to be serious, audiences still laugh at this epic one-sentence from Predator.
“I’m a man.” and “Well, nobody’s perfect.” – Jerry and Osgood
Jerry: “I’m a man!”
Osgood: “Well, nobody’s perfect.”
Although not politically correct, as long as we remember that this line was written and said in 1959, we can chuckle at these couple of lines from Some Like It Hot a little.
“If I had a ****, this is the part where I’d tell you to suck it.” – Delores Bickerman
A combination of comedic timing and the fact that this one-liner was delivered by Betty White in Lake Placid, an older lady with white hair, made it extra funny.
“By all means, move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me.” – Miranda Priestly
While channeling a nightmare boss, Meryl Streep drops plenty of comedic one-liners like this in The Devil Wears Prada.
“I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!” – Agent Neville Flynn
Hilarious and ironically iconic, this line from Samuel L. Jackson became more famous than Snakes on a Plane.
“Looks are everything. Have you ever heard David Beckham speak? It’s like he mouth-***** a can of helium. Do you think Ryan Reynolds got this far on his superior acting method?” – Wade Wilson
Sorry, I’m laughing so much that I have nothing to add. Deadpool is a true classic.
“Here’s the deal. I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning, and I **** excellence.” – Ricky Bobby
Will Ferrell strike again? This man’s comedy genius knows no bounds, with this line in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby arguably one of his best.
“I like your outfit, too, except when I dress up as a frigid b*tch; I try not to look so constipated.” – Elle Woods
We did not expect this one-liner from the pretty and sweet Elle Woods in Legally Blonde, but it did, and she said it with hysterical consequences.
“That’s it, dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!” – Mushu
Anything Eddie Murphy has ever said in any movie is hilarious, and this line in Mulan is no exception.
“I don’t want to be rude, but may I have a drink? I had three or four before I got here, but they’re beginning to wear off. And you know how that is.” – Lucy Warriner
This sarcastic, witty one-loner was said in 1937 in The Awful Truth, but people had a good sense of humor in the 1930s.
“I have *******, Greg. Could you milk me?” – Jack Byrnes
After all the serious roles Robert De Niro has played, it’s refreshing to see him drop funny one-liners like this in Meet The Parents.
“Couchie coo” – Wesley Snipes
Wesley Snipes (Blade) catches a baby across the top of some high-rise buildings; he looks into the infant’s face and stoically delivers this line. It’s impossible to take him seriously in this scene, and it’s one of the funniest moments in all the Blade movies.
“You sit on a throne of lies.” – Buddy
Will Ferrell delivers this epic one-liner with his usual hilarity that has us all hysterically laughing in Elf.
