If you’ve ever walked out of a movie theater feeling like you’ve been robbed, read on. Even if a movie has a massive budget, the best actors, astounding cinematography, a famous director, and an award-winning production team, it can still end up in a Top 21 Worst list.
Here are our picks.
Left Behind
Throw together a biblical rapture, an apocalypse, and a corny affair with a trolley dolly, and you’ve made a box office flop. Nick Cage couldn’t save this horrible movie, so good luck with Armageddon.
Matrix Revolutions
Besides a gratuitous Matrix fight between Neo and Agent Smith, the loss of Trinity and a bizarre ending just left us scratching our heads. Quit when you’re ahead. That’s the only thing to say about this horrid sequel.
Scary Movie
Scary Movie felt cocky enough to join the spoof-horror craze on the back of the Scream franchise. Scream nailed it, but Scary Movie became a parody of itself. Unfunny, painfully crude, and cringeworthy.
Street Fighter
We all hold a soft spot for Jean-Claude Van Damme in the wake of vintage goldies, Bloodsport, and Kickboxer. Street Fighter failed us with terrible representations, a tired script, and sub-zero acting. Pop Queen Kylie Minogue couldn’t save it either.
Speed 2
Just because you’ve made a box office hit doesn’t mean you should make a sequel. Speed was a wild ride; Speed 2 was a sinking cruise ship. Sandra Bullock even admitted it was a big career mistake. We agree.
Swept Away
Guy Ritchie thought a little collaboration with Wifey might be a novelty. Plus, she’s Madonna, so that could only help. Wrong. What she has in spades musically, she lacks in acting talent. The script was awful, too. Stick to cockney gangsters, Ritchie, even if non-Bits need a thesaurus at the ready.
The Happening
The one thing we didn’t see coming was a random environmental disaster, and Mark Wahlberg was far too camp to be convincing. In true Shyamalan style, he left us guessing, but the conclusion didn’t land. In the words of Zooey Deschanel, maybe we just didn’t get it.
The Bodyguard
People thought they liked this movie, but there wasn’t much to like. The charismatic Kevin Costner battled with a lightweight script, and his apparent adoration for his co-star left us cold. Whitney fans got to sob joyfully at her classics, though. There was that.
Holmes and Watson
Will Ferrell, we love you, but this was dire. Sherlock Holmes was a classy Brit in a sharp suit with wicked humor. Let’s cast a couple of Americans and turn a famous series into a parody. Great plan. Except it wasn’t. Thank God for Benedict Cumberbatch’s representation.
Cats
It went in the same vein—a bit of dialogue, a musical number, and on. There was no narrative whatsoever. It might work as a live production, but it doesn’t translate to film. Nice set, though.
Gotti
Gotti might have been John Travolta’s long-awaited passion project. Still, it received a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. While filmmakers glorify the infamous John Gotti, the movie itself crams too much into a limited space. Travolta’s grey hair and outlandish facial expressions are too distracting to concentrate.
Little Nicky
Adam Sandler killed this movie, but not in a positive sense. His stupid accent was painful to the ear, and his mannerisms were just too cringe-worthy. Crude jokes and unfunny writing made this movie a box office flop.
Open Water
While it’s the tragic true story of a couple innocently abandoned by their scuba boat, watching them endlessly tread water for two hours starts to grate. By the time the sharks rock up, we’ve lost the will to live. It’s a heartbreaking tale, but not one for the big screen.
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Take a brilliantly funny actor and chuck him in a terribly written movie. Welcome to Mall Cop. The writing is amateur, verging on patronizing, and the slapstick fails to land. It’s awful.
Alice in Wonderland
In this dark parody featuring an upper-class Victorian society, quirky Tim Burton missed the mark and forced it into the Worst Movie category. Johnny Depp reveled in the role, but his immense screen time became exhausting to watch. Critics labeled it one of his worst to date.
Body of Evidence
Madonna features again in the worst movie list. Shocker. This is a poor man’s Basic Instinct but without the charisma of Sharon Stone and the acting skills of Michael Douglas. It’s terrible. Terrible.
Sausage Party
If you can even begin to make sense of this, kudos to you. A cartoon bun and a cartoon sausage make sexual innuendos while they await their fate. And when you think it can’t get stranger, it becomes a musical. It’s oddly funny in places but overall peculiarity from Seth Rogan.
The Revenant
It might have been a masterpiece that scooped a ton of Oscars, but prepare for a long, slow voyage into a land of self-indulgence. The film loves itself more than any viewer could, and contrary to popular belief, it’s a yawn fest. Even the actors had a rough ride, with reports of dubious safety measures on set.
Dracula
Gary Oldman can do no wrong, but Bram Stoker’s Dracula was a bad move. Keanu Reeves wasn’t up to the English accent; Winona Ryder was painfully twee, and the writing was all over the place. Even a bunch of big-name actors failed to save it.
Jaws: The Revenge
The original Jaws goes down in history as the ultimate shark movie. The Revenge barely made it out alive. It has impossibly poor CGI and a shark that seeks revenge on its murdered relatives. How very realistic.
One Missed Call
If you answer a call on your mobile, you’re going to die. While the premise is interesting and has great potential, the movie is slow, boring, and lacks the rawness of classic horror. If your phone rings midway through, though, you might get slightly creeped out.
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
The original Blair Witch held a cult status. The sequel has painfully lousy script writing, useless acting, and lacks the gut-wrench premise that the original delivers. Director Joe Berlinger blamed its demise on the denial of his original cut. Shame we’ll never get to see it.
